We’ve all heard it before: someone is going through a “quarter-life” crisis. For some, it can be a joking matter, but for others, it can be a significant life change.
Before we dive into how to cope with a quarter-life crisis, it’s important to understand what a quarter-life crisis is and some of the changes and emotions associated with it.
A quarter-life crisis is a period of stress, uncertainty, and soul-searching that someone in their mid-20s (but as early as 18 and as late as mid-30s) can experience about their life’s direction and purpose.
Quarter-Life Crisis Triggers
Even if you feel like your quarter-life crisis came out of nowhere, transitional events can often bring one on. While we are often told the transition from childhood to adulthood happens at 18, that time of life doesn’t always come with new responsibilities and independence. Searching for a job or career planning, living alone for the first time, or making long-term relational and life goals are all adult decisions that can cause stress for anyone, especially someone freshly launched into the world.
There are typically four phases of a quarter-life crisis:
- Feeling confined or trapped in some sort of commitment
- Separation and loneliness
- Reflection and soul-searching
- Exploration of new activities and opportunities and emerging on the other side of the crisis
Wide Range of Emotions
Struggling through a quarter-life crisis can bring on a tidal wave of varying emotions. A hallmark of this time is self-doubt and shaming. After all, aren’t your 20s supposed to be the best years of your life?! Many people feel frustrated or dismissive of their crisis because they feel they shouldn’t be struggling. But ignoring or denying a struggle doesn’t make it go away.
You might also be experiencing depression or anxiety, frustration, and listlessness. While there isn’t a timeline for a quarter-life crisis, it can last a few months or even years. It is a painful process. However, there is an opportunity for tremendous growth as it helps individuals create and lead a more fulfilling life.
How to Cope
The fact that you are reading this blog means you are engaged in this process on some level. Excellent! Active engagement and wrestling with your feelings will move you in the right direction. Some other coping strategies include:
Self-Reflection
- Take time to journal your feelings and goals. You might notice patterns of what matters to you most.
- Spend time alone. Social interaction is still important, but taking time in solitude to reflect can lead to new discoveries about yourself and how you want to live your life.
- Visualize your future. Imagine the various paths your life can take and see which path you would most like to walk.
- Ask for feedback from your friends and family. The people closest to you can help you recognize your strengths and potential. They can help you focus on what matters most to you.
Releasing Expectations
You are in the midst of transitioning from long-term expectations from parents, teachers, and even yourself to the world of self-actualized adulthood. Release these expectations and practice radical self-compassion and acceptance.
Don’t Compare
Comparison is the thief of joy, as Teddy Roosevelt once said. You might look at your peers, see how their careers or relationships turned out, and feel bad about yourself. Instead, recognize that each person’s life is unique and beautiful in its own right. What works for you might not work for others, and that’s okay.
Accept Indecision and Give Yourself Permission to Change
Despite appearances, no one has all the answers. The unknown can make you uncomfortable, but you will find peace when you embrace it.
Also, know that it’s okay to change your mind about what you want for your future. We all change as we grow and learn. Don’t confine yourself to goals of the past, but allow yourself to update your goals based on who you are now.
Seek Support
A quarter-life crisis is no small matter, and you will need outside assistance. Give yourself the gift of professional counseling to help you navigate the emotions you are feeling and help you plan for the future. Contact our counseling practice in Aventura, FL today to see how we can help you get to the other side of your quarter-life crisis.